Life's Kinda Funny
by Black-Ink32
Summary: Life's kinda funny, huh? I mean who would have thought Rachel-the anal retentative, school loser with an amazing voice would have have gotten Quinn Fabray-Head Cheerio, president of the celibacy club, pregnant at sixteen? were-peen. Rating may change.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters.**

**Prologue**

She wasn't fat. She wasn't ugly. She wasn't stupid. In fact, she wasn't a lot of things other unfortunate people were. Quinn Fabray was perfect. Her body was fit, she had the beauty of an angel, her hair looked as if it were kissed by the sun. Yet, she felt so insecure. She felt imperfect. The hands trailing her body knew it too; though soft lips sliding down her neck tried to erase it.

She _was_ perfect and this stranger tried to prove it to her. Sheathed in darkness, Quinn Fabray couldn't make out her unknown lover. Although, with the alcohol flowing through her blood stream she was sure it wouldn't have mattered who it was at the time. Just so long as they kept touching her like they were and continued whispering sweet nothings in her ear she was content not knowing who this mysterious person was.

Soft fingers glided across her skin and feather light kisses peppered her body. Her lover was so gentle and loving, it led her to believe it couldn't have possibly been any guy she knew, if it was a guy at all. Her mind quickly changed when she felt a hard member touch her inner thigh.

"This might hurt," the stranger whispered and it did. She tried to push her unknown lover away but with soothing caresses and warm words Quinn was soon holding tight to her lover once more. Pleasure melted away the pain and soon enough both were crying out in ecstasy.

Quinn hadn't ever felt this loved before, but even in her alcohol induced thought process she knew this bliss wouldn't last forever. So she pulled her lover even closer, wanting to hold on to the moment for as long as she could.

**A/N: So what'd you think?**


	2. Funny Surprise

**Title: Life's Kinda Funny**

**Rating: T**

**Words: 1,178**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any Characters**

**A/N:Tell me what you think.**

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**Chapter 1**

**Funny Surprise**

She awoke to a slight pounding in her head and the enticing smell of strawberry shampoo. Squinting at the oncoming sunlight, Rachel Berry shifted slightly only to freeze. Where the hell was she? This wasn't her room, these weren't her sheets. Groaning, she tries to sift through hazy memories to logically answer her questions. All she can remember is feeling the- still lingering- excitement at finally being invited to one of Noah's house parties. House party, Noah's house party; my god she was in Noah's house still. Her dad's were going to ground her into the next century.

A yawn exploded past her lips and she attempted to stretch when a warm body shifted against hers. Rachel froze, and was immediately aware of the soft hand sprawled across her tanned chest and the long legs entangled with hers. A whimper escaped her lips as she took in the situation. She was naked, lying in a bed in Noah's house with another- possibly- naked person beside her. Tears welled up in her eyes as her mind directed her to the facts. She had intercourse last night and couldn't even recall the event taking place. She had lost her _virginity_ and could not for the life of her remember a single moment of it.

The soft hand resting on her chest slid down, trailing her stomach, coming to rest on her lower abdominal area. Her tears were all but forgotten in that moment as she stifled a moan. She became acutely aware of a hardening member and gasped. She hadn't slept with a guy last night. She had sexual relations with a woman. With widening eyes, Rachel turned her head to see if she could catch a glimpse of the teenage girl she had defiled. Only she got a head of golden blonde hair and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Who was this person? The image of Brittany, her ditzy glee member popped into her head. A shudder racked her body. If this _was _Brittany, she feared for her life. Santana would eradicate her from the world in the most gruesome of ways, and then hide the pieces of her body, so even the police wouldn't find all of her. Forcing down the bile rising in her throat, she untangled her legs from the unknown blonde and gently removed the hand from her stomach.

Pushing away the comforters, Rachel leaped out of bed and scoured the room for her articles of clothing. Throwing them on haphazardly, she began to walk to the door when a burning curiosity ignited in her and stopped her movements. She wanted to know who this blonde was. She wanted to know who she had shared her first intimate moment with.

Quietly Rachel walked towards the bed, and with a shaking hand, lightly brushed a few strands of blonde hair obscuring the girls face. A startled gasp released itself past her lips. Her heart accelerated in fear, this couldn't be happening. _No, no, no. This can't possibly be happening? _

She was certain she was hyperventilating now. Oh God, she had slept with Quinn Fabray. She had intercourse with Quinn Fabray. Head of the Cheerios, President of the Celibacy Club. My God, she had defiled Quinn Fabray; her high school tormentor, the girl who could walk by and throw a slushy at her face and not care.

_RuPaul, Treasure Trail; _Rachel's face paled as the names ran through her head. Oh how close to home Quinn had been with those names. She dropped her trembling hand by her side and stumbled backwards. What if Quinn remembered last night? Fighting off the sudden nausea, she gave a quick glance to the slumbering blonde before exiting the room.

The drive home wasn't pleasant. So many thoughts and scenarios ran through her head she thought it would explode. What if Quinn revealed her _condition_ to the school population? Would Quinn even remember last night? What if she did? Would she stay silent? Did she even use protection? She thought she might have thrown up a bit in her mouth at the last thought. She was Rachel Berry and Rachel Berry was organized; she was prepared, even in the most unlikely of situations. That still didn't assuage the doubt in her mind.

_I didn't impregnate her. I did not impregnate her. _She chanted this mantra until she pulled into her driveway. Stepping out of the car with shaky feet, Rachel stumbled up to her door and unlocked it. The house was eerily silent as she crossed the threshold inside and for one naïve moment she thought she might have avoided her fathers.

"Rachel Barbra Berry," a deep voice boomed. No such luck.

"Dad, Daddy," she called out in a small voice. Leroy, her African American father stepped out first, followed by Hiram, her short and Jewish father.

"Do you know how worried we were?" Hiram started. She did. They had practically blown up her phone with text messages and calls.

"Yes," she spoke quietly, lowering her head.

"Rachel, honey what's wrong?" her Daddy asked with concern written all over his dark face. Usually, she would negotiate her punishments and even manage to get out of some with bribery or her irresistible pouting.

"I-nothing," she shook her head. _Best not to worry them now_, she thought. "I apologize for having made you both worry. It was incredibly irresponsible of me. I should have called and informed you I was staying the night or had you drive me home because of my inebriated state. I take full responsibility for my actions and will await my punishment with no objections."

"Sweetheart," her Dad sighed, pulling her in for a warm hug. It took all of her not to cry. "I understand this was your first night out. Its okay to get a bit crazy, but you had us so worried. You don't know all of things that could have happened to you that crossed our minds. You're our baby girl and it's natural for us to want to protect you. Leroy nearly went down there himself to break up the party and find you."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his woolen sweater.

"We know," Leroy smiled crookedly, "which is why you're stuck with kitchen duties for the month. Don't let it happen again."

"I won't," Rachel grinned. It wasn't her usual mega-watt smile but it would do for now.


End file.
